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This year represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Initially, the idea that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, seeking a mate has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Zoomers, a cohort who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the words this generation is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – For gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to seeking out someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral traits indicating a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that immediately shut down any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {