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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?